Co-Parenting During the Holidays

The holiday season often finds the family law court rooms overflowing with applications from separating and divorcing parents about parenting arrangements for the holidays. The holidays can be very stressful for children of separated or divorced parents. Separating and divorcing parents have the opportunity to create a happy holiday season for themselves and their children. It is imperative that when planning the holiday season, both parents maintain a child centered and focused approach. It is unlikely that both parents will get the time they want, however, it is possible to create a schedule that will create positive memories for the children.

Parents that are not using the court system to make decisions for them can create whatever arrangement works best for them and their children. One possibility is that the parents alternate years in which they have the children on Christmas day. For example, one parent has the children in odd years and the other parent in even years. For parents that want a more equal sharing of the holidays, another option is for one parent to have time with the children on the evening of December 24th and the morning of December 25th and then other parent has the children from part way through December 25th until the end of the day on the 26th. Sometimes parents alternate this schedule in even and odd years.

Some parents choose to celebrate the holidays together and this arrangement is often most enjoyed by the children provided that the parents can keep any issues they may have with each other locked away for the period of time they are together. The children don’t have to travel between their parent’s homes, and they have their family together in one place to share the important aspects of the holiday. Remember to start planning your holiday schedule well in advance.

Another aspect of the holiday season is financial. If consideration is not given to the financial component of the holidays such as how much is each parent spending on gifts, then this may be source of hurt feelings and conflict between the parents. It is advisable to discuss budgets and expectations in advance.

Parents that are able to set their own preferences and old hurts aside are fully capable of working on and developing a child centered holiday plan!